i was thinking about all this creative arty jazz, you know what i mean, the need to 'express' myself and yada yada and generally what is traditionally associated with the arty folk of which i am sometimes thought of, and i was thinking about why is it i like art so much and why i took to it so strongly.

on further introspection, i find i just as much enjoy putting together an outfit to wear as much as drawing a picture, and while it may be a satisfaction on a different level, it still curbs some basic hunger within me, like an itch you can't really scratch and you itch, its just you don't know where.

so i was peeing at rox's place (the toilet is a very conductive place for thought. think of archimedes man.), and it struck me! like a bolt of lightning! the reason i like it so much (drum roll) is because of the control i get over it. basically, there aren't really any rules and you can just go as your whim dictactes, and theres no 2nd or 3rd party you have to think about. its just you, and what you want. which re-affirms that i guess i am selfish, but hey, at least i don't (i hope) overly impose it on anyone anyway.

and i have gained a greater level of self awareness. if this were Final Fantasy, the level up tune would be playing now.