we all go in chest thumping with hearts on fire fearless of the after burn because its carpe diem we're men after all lets seize the day. and the fall out is like a nuclear bomb, the hiroshima of the heart. what can we do we were men reduced to boys and then we'll wallow for a while before we suck it up and move on with a shrug and a sigh - "cest la vie".

no one told us to expect to feel this way. maybe its not so much the pain but the shock of it that gets to us. a catch 22 because if you do expect it then why bother in the first place my brother.

the truth is more complex in a dumb way that can only make sense to you, so my wish to you is that you'll dig that out soon.

i heart you, you know i do.