I think i've figured it out-

I've reconcilled my seeming polar opinions on things. Its because I like to rationally pursue romantic notions!

Down in Albion, we're black and blue- but shhh we don't talk about that.

Are you from Albion? Oh, hello! how do you do? Come lets talk about that. Over gin in teacups, of violet passions and yellowing classics (the colour of our teeth cracked in smiles)- its okay we're all from Albion.

But if you're looking for a cheap sunset or a trinket story its in false anticipation. I'll be waiting in the photo booth (its a neoprint station). If you'll smile I'll smile and print a memory we'll never remember.

do you think thinking burns calories?

i think so. that would explain my weight loss in sec 3/4 and my good O level results, the subsequent weight gain in JC and the poor results, the flab from office life (its not the physical inactivity that gets you- its the mental void) and finally now i am getting gaunt of cheeks.

smoking has the illusion of you doing something when, in all reality, you really aren't.

it has the same effect as when somewhat asks "what're you doing" and one replies "just chillin'".

you aren't doing anything. and by you i might mean me.

ajax hijack. we die of broken glass. pat boone hats on our grave and a tap dancer. baa ta dam daa tammm ba dammm da pamm. clickety clack. borrowed limos, whores filled to the rim of the glass, ladders instead of pretty paper umbrellas. tippety tappety tap.

in reference to my previous post, because you see i'm like that- I write letters that have postscripts and post-postscripts and so on so forth. BUT i digress.

so as i was saying, in reference to my previous post, (consider this a pt. 2), theres something devilishly nasty, (in an impish manner), about drinking liquor out of an innocent coffee cup. its like having sex in your parents bed (i've never done that) or stealing chocolate (nope, never done that either). but you know what i mean.

"when i speak, no one believes me. when i write it down, people know its true."

to too many last cigarettes smoked and nights spent clubbing for the final time. if i can't be disciplined i can at least be honest because my personal hypocracy is a joke.

so i raise this glass and say, "da".

when i speak of romance and romantics i dont mean to someone. we are all narcissists married to the ball and chain of our ego. i declare a romance to the self. what better way is there to be happy with everything and content with nothing?

Lennard with a sigh, a grin and a shrug.

if you want to be happy, you have to be a romantic. but if you never want to be sad, then you must be dull.

relationships are the most futile pursuits but nothing feels as good. on the same note nothing feels as bad either.

sadly enough, i am only human.

 

take a bow and tie me up hello i am home 

Existing isn't good enough, no. You have to live! Punchups fallouts and heartbreaks, i roll with it. Grow yourself a heart for others to crack and me to love.

"If you've lost your faith in love and music, the end won't be long." (but don't forget to breathe)

Which of the following 4 options is not a real word?

(a) Tweede Laurierdwarsstraat
(b) Nieuwezijds Voorburgwal
(c) Hrvatska
(d) Lerntaunt

god help me in the linguistic spaghetti that is Europe...

(p.s. the answer is (d))

Driving home from Jon's place, I was blessed with the serendipity of coasting through 5 green lights in a row. Passing through each gateway brought mounting tension and joy. "Yes! I made it through!" followed by "will I make the next one?". You know how it is- the higher you are, the harder you fall.

After the fifth green light, the subsequent 6th, 7th and 8th shone an angry red, nullifying what would have otherwise qualified as a homerun. Thus, the net score for the night stood at 2-green-lights-in-a-row.

If I said "make a wish if you pass through 3 greenlights in a row", you would dismiss it as Lennard Being Silly. And so I add the necessary "someone once told me that...", thus sanctifying it as fact/urban-legend.

perhaps thats how the four leaf clover, brokenglass and walking-under-the-ladder-type stories started- "I heard that if you..."

i'm jealous of you and now you will be my wife.

its like the sun and alcohol because everything revolves around it fuelled by cigarette smoke wisping through our clothes staining it the colour teeth. a stork will fly past at night with no package and don't ask why not. the wrong questions are the ones with the answers. the right questions no one answers because no one asks it.

i am jealous of the moon. i am envious of the sun. you don't have to ask me why, i'll tell you when i will. remember that the right questions are the ones no one answers, so don't ask it.

i'm still alive still well barely breathing

just saw 5 Takes on discovery and thats the reason i'm breathless - with excitement, anticipation and fear of my upcoming trip to Europe. Will i survive in haughty france? how about the movie Hostel?! and my money - will i get robbed/cheated/conned, or just plain blow it all during my first week in amsterdam?

flashback to bring you up to date on the plot. come may 31 i leave for London for a 50-odd day trek through Europe with yoon. London - Amsterdam - Berlin - Prague - Krakow - Budapest - Brasov - Bucharest - Athens - Corfu - Rome - Venice - Marsellies - Barcelona - Pomplona - Bilbao - Bordeaux - Paris - London. Whew! try say it in one breath. I can barely remember it offhand.

so thats whats new. I got back from bali-jakarta a few weeks back.

Bali was dead quiet for what used to be a tourist town. its horrible what the bombings did. I visited the two bomb sites and they had a giant memorial erected at one. i didn't get to surf cause of the (mostly) wet weather but i did eat at this place where they roasted a WHOLE pig and when you order they pull the meat off and slap it on a plate of rice with this oh-so-delicious clear oily sauce that had chopped chillies and onions in it.

jakarta on the other hand was like right out of "blade runner". Apocalyptically chaotic but somehow it worked. maybe the chaos theory doth work huh. the motorcycle riders there were like mosquitos, bzzzzing everywhere, seemingly from out of nowhere. I could be taking a dump and i wouldn't be surprised if a 50cc beeped past me. the young-uns in jakarta also had this odd fashion of wearing their helmet backwards. i kid you not.

but the oddest thing i found. okay not oddest, but weird thing, was that - all indonesian mcdonald's outlets had no breakfast menu! or milkshakes! but the burgers were really nice- the buns were super greasy and so was the patty. mmmMmmmMm.

ok i've covered my past, my future so on to the now. My direct neighbour's doing maj renovations with involves LOTS of drilling. it feels like i'm living in the mouth of a dentist's patients. and my dads a dentist. har de har. poetic justice for the pain he's inflicted? just kidding. he's the best. (seriously. want an appt? ask me- i hook you up goood).

found a killer section at the new national library. found this book on the unique 'space' of architecture and why traditional art-critique doesn't work because of it. it blew my mind reading it today till these gaggle of students came chittychittybangbang and sat their noisy asses next to me. i told them to shhhhhh tho. does that make me a prick? but its a goddamn library! it should be silent as the grave. architecture will save your soul.

ciao

To all naysayers, think about it.

Hellboy (the movie) is, at its core, a love story about a freak (hellboy) who loves another freak (selma blair) who doesn't want to admit she loves him because she doesn't want to admit shes a freak, but in the end she see's the light (haha.) and they lip-lock in a mouth-to-mouth baked-alaska. How lovely is that? Its a modern-day fairy tale with the obligatory "and-they-lived/loved-happily-ever-after".

if you don't like that then you don't bloody believe in the ideal of love (if we don't have the ideal, then what do we have? the practical aspect sure doesn't cut it!).

To hell with you! even satan's spawn gets it!

Its like I have this ennui that scratching can't cure. Doctor! We have to amputate!

zouk last night was a hilarious comedy with a guy pushing me and isaac they all jumping in with
bravado and in a weird chain of events we ended up friends with that guy's friends and kennedy and justin had a damn big fight. just don't ask. haha.

tiff- relax. sorry if you feel i hijacked your quote but technically you got it from someone else who got it from someone else who probably got it from someone else. we'd all like to think we're special but its a thin illusion at best.

"you're a bi-curious!" proclaimed Lesley after our night out at Happy with her queens (its a gay soiree! or so i say).

"he dances like one, at least" said her fagfriend. but truth is i love girls (boobies!) too much but i think what jennifer clement says hits closest to home.

"It was clear that his sexual interest was not monochromatic. It did not rely on visual stimulation, such as a pretty girl. It was a very rich multi-chromatic sexuality. He was attracted to people for all
different reasons. They could be boys, girls, thin, fat, pretty, ugly. It was, I think, driven by intelligence. He was attracted to intelligence more than anything and to pain. He was very attracted to people who silently bore some sort of inner pain as he did and he loved
people who were one-of-a-kind, people who had a unique vision of things."

I wish i wrote that, but i didn't. my only claim to fame is posting it. she wrote it in the book "Widow Basquiat" to describe Jean-Michel Basquiat, a notorious nyc artist circa 1980/90. i want his life - fast, furious, tragic.

him, cobain, doherty, eldon. are they just flashes in the pan? maybe, but you'll never know. they die to fast. (i think its because theirs souls were too full. they subsequently burst as a result). but in their brilliant moments, they stood there like proverbial dancers in a forever-priouette. better a moment's perfection than an eternal muddle, ya ken?

call me mr pink ic!

can't'cha lemme be?! it hurts it burns it confuses. its vertigo from the empire if the empire were down in hell.