i'm back and tired and tanned and thinner so it evens out i guess.
25/01/04
Its the first few hours in camp and already someone is expousing gems of wisdom- while doing pull-ups, i wanted to stop, being tired and basically worn out and one of them said- "cannot cannot!" Pause For Effect.
wah.
the 5 day break flew by like... like... something fast. (i cant think of any witty comparison). oh how short the normal 2 day break will seem. fuck
26/01/04
saturday seems like such a long way away, like the proberbial carrot on ther stick as you run and run while the days stay stationary. like running on a treadmill.
after the break, the air in the platoon is different. we've popped our cherries i guess and its like we're settling into a stale marrige. how droll. oh what a ride, what a ride- welcome to alcatraz.
while runnning by the coast, i stared longingly in the direction of main land and there was a cold numbness, kind of like the type you get when you sit on your hand too long. only this time its in your heart.
we were told today that we didn't have to serve in NS if we didn't want to- "Just AWOL la!!!" the commander said. how animal farm. or was it catch-22?
27/01/04
the soc is really like an adults playground.
2 fucking years. god help me!
28/01/04
and so today passed with little ado. i had expected the week to pivot about today (wednesday) but alas i am naively thinking of the lovely 5 day school week. with bookout on a saturday afternoon, its hard to pin point the period where the melancholy of book-in flips into excitement of book-out.
i am desperately looking forward to wearing my own clothes...
29/01/04
i feel like nostradamus. my prediction about lemmings jumping off cliffs came true as we were made to line up and one by one march on an elevated balance beam and off the edge.
i have also determined the pivot day of the week- Thursday afternoon!
today it rained forever. of the last 6 hours at least. its a nice rain, tho heavy, the pellets were all small and fine, unlike the coarse bullet-like raindrops of previous days. for lack of a better word, i would call it poetic as the rain dances in the wind. looking through the rain soaked air, its almost like a mist and close your eyes *bam* its a mist over glasgow. or somewhere other than here.
-end-
as a friend put it so eloquently, some people just should NOT shave their heads. they end up looking like 'testicles'
and my roommates aren't that bad. crazy chinaman isn't so crazy, just determined and driven i guess. and my buddy is okay. on the whole the whole damn thing is okay, discounting how fucked up the whole she-bang of serving army is.
'if you've lost your love,
join a rock and roll band.'
2004-01-25
Exorcism of James Chew
CNY @ Weim's
back to camp, back to camp.
they say that in the army, the food is very good. you ask for curry chicken, they give you chao da rice.
they say that in the army, the guns are very good. but when you pull the trigger, the bullet fly backwards.
they say that in the army, the girls are very chio. you ask for charlie's angels, they give you frankenstein.
CNY @ Weim's
back to camp, back to camp.
they say that in the army, the food is very good. you ask for curry chicken, they give you chao da rice.
they say that in the army, the guns are very good. but when you pull the trigger, the bullet fly backwards.
they say that in the army, the girls are very chio. you ask for charlie's angels, they give you frankenstein.
kaninah time to book in tomorrow. 5 days went by so fast... how about normal weekend bookouts then?! shit man. anyway. it was fun tonite at weims. haha. kinda abit like old times. will post photos soon... and weims! you bloody deleted your nudie pics!!!
god damned fucked up weather we're having this new year. hope its not an omen...
god damned fucked up weather we're having this new year. hope its not an omen...
2004-01-24
with each chinese new year comes the obligatory gambling marathons and the night before, having lost $38 then slowly trudge my way back to a final count of $46 on the strength of my final $2 and then last night, after winning $10, i was feeling quite pleased with myself. until i heard of tales of how some have netted in $500 and my mouth drools and my eyes bug out in envy. oh woe why can't such luck come and poke me in the butt??
Army-Dazed
during our first few days in camp, we had to go for a 'swim test' to filter the swimmers from the non swimmers. it was easy enough for most, having only to swim a 50m breast stroke. but what was excriciating about the whole exercise had less to do with the activity and more to do with the clothes. the trunks to be exact.
most guys don't shave their pubis-harium, and after about 18 years of unfettered growth, many pubic regions now resemble a dark dense curly bush with a lil' head head* peeking out. coupled with tight black trunks, many people had their pubes bursting out from the side in full glory, sort of like, a penis side-burn. it was disgusting. and the hair. so long. ughhh. trim it damnit! and keep it neat!
long and curly and *shuddderr* eeek ugh. yucks. the memory. and the stray strands that fall to the floor. aw sickk. i have goosebumps just typing this out.
*i used to think i had a small dick but god damn go to the army and you look at the little weiners about. some are uncircumsiced and pokey and disgusting with wrinkly skin and those small circumsiced ones look like over-boiled cocktail weiners.
end Army-Dazed
Army-Dazed
during our first few days in camp, we had to go for a 'swim test' to filter the swimmers from the non swimmers. it was easy enough for most, having only to swim a 50m breast stroke. but what was excriciating about the whole exercise had less to do with the activity and more to do with the clothes. the trunks to be exact.
most guys don't shave their pubis-harium, and after about 18 years of unfettered growth, many pubic regions now resemble a dark dense curly bush with a lil' head head* peeking out. coupled with tight black trunks, many people had their pubes bursting out from the side in full glory, sort of like, a penis side-burn. it was disgusting. and the hair. so long. ughhh. trim it damnit! and keep it neat!
long and curly and *shuddderr* eeek ugh. yucks. the memory. and the stray strands that fall to the floor. aw sickk. i have goosebumps just typing this out.
*i used to think i had a small dick but god damn go to the army and you look at the little weiners about. some are uncircumsiced and pokey and disgusting with wrinkly skin and those small circumsiced ones look like over-boiled cocktail weiners.
end Army-Dazed
2004-01-23
Naruto~! a very nice anime, go check it out. alot of freakin' cool fighting- a bit like recca but so much more.
Army-Dazed
In my platoon, almost everyone has a bloody freakin chinese name and no christian name. so i've given quite a few of them nicknames in my mind.
there's sickboy aka kasparov, a short-pasty-white boy from JJC who plays chess. on the first day of army he already reported sick, and got an atten B, so dun need to run and shit like that.
theres powder aka soccerboy, who has this rash on his neck and when he puts powder on, it seems to collect in the ridges of the rash accentuating the already turkey-like skin. and he is very good at table soccer.
Crazy Chinaman, a 19year old china national from SAJC who is in the army because he thinks its 'good experience'. his complexion is also very very veryyy bad and on the first few days i found it a bit hard to look at him.
Old Major! a soccer player, he is dark and lean and muscular, and has the face of a horse. on marches, he is the one carrying the extra load of a flag and shit like that. then, one day, while queueing up for food, i heard him cough- wa! MACHAM HORSE! seriously. hence, yours truly, old major. from animal farm. right in my platoon.
there is also Chicken Run, a fellow RJC guy in my room who i personally never saw in rj before. he looks like... well, the chicken from chicken run, what with the chin conjoined to the neck. and he is also quite blur so i guess his nickname also alludes to the phrase 'headless chicken'. he is also in charge of arms (weapons), so one can imagine...
there's another guy i think of as D'oh. cuz. he is just damn d'oh. i talk cock to him and he'll slowly turn his head to me and give this fucked up blur face and go... 'eh? huh? oh. okay.'. he is also quite dark and has thick red lips so i guess one could also call him nigger boy.
in army, we're assigned two buddies each. one of my buddies, allen, i think of as mickey mouse cause he has ears which are wayyy out there man. i bet he could be our platoon's sonar device in the war. and then. BA BA BUM. there is.... B.O. I call him B.O. because he really damn stink after he sweat man... cannot tahan! then my bed next to him summore... i guess its good cause at night no trouble sleeping... take a whiff of his sweaty shirt or something and its off to la-la land for me. no tossing and turning anymore. heh.
hmmm. i wonder what my nickname would be.
end Army-Dazed
Army-Dazed
In my platoon, almost everyone has a bloody freakin chinese name and no christian name. so i've given quite a few of them nicknames in my mind.
there's sickboy aka kasparov, a short-pasty-white boy from JJC who plays chess. on the first day of army he already reported sick, and got an atten B, so dun need to run and shit like that.
theres powder aka soccerboy, who has this rash on his neck and when he puts powder on, it seems to collect in the ridges of the rash accentuating the already turkey-like skin. and he is very good at table soccer.
Crazy Chinaman, a 19year old china national from SAJC who is in the army because he thinks its 'good experience'. his complexion is also very very veryyy bad and on the first few days i found it a bit hard to look at him.
Old Major! a soccer player, he is dark and lean and muscular, and has the face of a horse. on marches, he is the one carrying the extra load of a flag and shit like that. then, one day, while queueing up for food, i heard him cough- wa! MACHAM HORSE! seriously. hence, yours truly, old major. from animal farm. right in my platoon.
there is also Chicken Run, a fellow RJC guy in my room who i personally never saw in rj before. he looks like... well, the chicken from chicken run, what with the chin conjoined to the neck. and he is also quite blur so i guess his nickname also alludes to the phrase 'headless chicken'. he is also in charge of arms (weapons), so one can imagine...
there's another guy i think of as D'oh. cuz. he is just damn d'oh. i talk cock to him and he'll slowly turn his head to me and give this fucked up blur face and go... 'eh? huh? oh. okay.'. he is also quite dark and has thick red lips so i guess one could also call him nigger boy.
in army, we're assigned two buddies each. one of my buddies, allen, i think of as mickey mouse cause he has ears which are wayyy out there man. i bet he could be our platoon's sonar device in the war. and then. BA BA BUM. there is.... B.O. I call him B.O. because he really damn stink after he sweat man... cannot tahan! then my bed next to him summore... i guess its good cause at night no trouble sleeping... take a whiff of his sweaty shirt or something and its off to la-la land for me. no tossing and turning anymore. heh.
hmmm. i wonder what my nickname would be.
end Army-Dazed
2004-01-21
through JC, i kept a scrap/junk/thought/sketch book of sorts. hence, similarly, through army i am now doing the same, the only difference is that this is more rigorously updated as there as so many new situations i am experiencing.
as and when i can, i'll type out what i wrote. or parts of it, at least.
16/01/2004
so far, army has really been a dud. next to the communal toilet bowls, there are signs saying 'use pail to flush'. and this... this takes the cincher- above the urinals are quips like ' defence isn't expensive- ITS PRICELESS!'. nothing quite like that to get the system's plumbing going, eh? fuck.
Good Fuckin' Morning Vietnam
17/01/2004
the funniest sight in the army thus far has to be the Fat Platoon. they remind me of a platoon of marshmallow men. (you know, from ghost busters) they don't so much march as wobble/waddle their way around the camp. whenever they stamp their boots, you can see their rolls of lard ripple and shake like a giant tin of gelatin. no-one takes fat people seriously. there's fuckloads of fat comedians like jeff goldblum, but marlon brando aside, i doubt there's many 'serious' fat actors about. there.
-
being in the army is like one big joke we are all in on, but no one dares call the other's bluff. recruits shuffle past sergents and eek out a meek 'good morning/afternoon/evening sergent' as the sergent stifles a laugh, almost guilty of giving the charade up. the disgusting toilets are a great disincentive to shitting. even as i squat over it, my shit dares not take the plunge. thus, by induction, i think i'll have to eat less to excrete less. i'm hoping to hold everything in till the weekend.
18/01/2004
'lep rite lep rite lep rite lep.'
thats what is sounds like. lemmings we all are, marching around the camp. it's a surreal sight to watch all the feet fall in unison. its not natural! just as rain falls to a random pitter patter, so should the sound of feet! (discounting of course, tap dancers and Stomp!) i feel like a lemming, falk expecting there to be a cliff and we'll one by one fall to our doom still moving our feet and perhaps flailing our hands. (all in unison, of course)
thats all the diary i have now, as we didn't have much free time on some days. okay, so we all know army is fucked up, but i guess i've to say i'm lucky because i got posted to a 'welfare' company, meaning... its fucking slack for me. its the first few days and already we get to use the recruit mess room (i.e. recreation room). Table soccer is mighty fun, tho i am very prone to scoring own goals. =(
what else what else... OH! FOOD! the food is. okay la. some days nice some days it tastes like anus juice. mondays are especially good since its western food day. on saturday, they served my favourite dish- sweet and sour pork! but... alas... we only got one chunk of meat per person. =(
we still have lectures, but its all boring on repetitive, harping on the same following points:
-army is safe
-army is good
-army is essential
-army code of conduct
at least the lecturer is quiteeee funny... here's some quotes
"I make you stand until your testicles complain!!!" - sgt mjr
"... if not i'll fuck you over until you dissolve into egg and sperm!!!" - sgt mjr
and while talking cock with our sergents-
sergent- "Did you know masturbating is a chargable offence?"
one of the recruits- "HUH?!"
one of the garang recruits-
"SERGENT! WHEN CAN DO GUARD DUTY?" - Eze
and last but not least, my platoon sergent-
"Nabeh Cuckoobird!"
p.s: enough to tide you over till next week, rox?? heh.
p.p.s: if you found it long/boring.... too bad.
as and when i can, i'll type out what i wrote. or parts of it, at least.
16/01/2004
so far, army has really been a dud. next to the communal toilet bowls, there are signs saying 'use pail to flush'. and this... this takes the cincher- above the urinals are quips like ' defence isn't expensive- ITS PRICELESS!'. nothing quite like that to get the system's plumbing going, eh? fuck.
Good Fuckin' Morning Vietnam
17/01/2004
the funniest sight in the army thus far has to be the Fat Platoon. they remind me of a platoon of marshmallow men. (you know, from ghost busters) they don't so much march as wobble/waddle their way around the camp. whenever they stamp their boots, you can see their rolls of lard ripple and shake like a giant tin of gelatin. no-one takes fat people seriously. there's fuckloads of fat comedians like jeff goldblum, but marlon brando aside, i doubt there's many 'serious' fat actors about. there.
-
being in the army is like one big joke we are all in on, but no one dares call the other's bluff. recruits shuffle past sergents and eek out a meek 'good morning/afternoon/evening sergent' as the sergent stifles a laugh, almost guilty of giving the charade up. the disgusting toilets are a great disincentive to shitting. even as i squat over it, my shit dares not take the plunge. thus, by induction, i think i'll have to eat less to excrete less. i'm hoping to hold everything in till the weekend.
18/01/2004
'lep rite lep rite lep rite lep.'
thats what is sounds like. lemmings we all are, marching around the camp. it's a surreal sight to watch all the feet fall in unison. its not natural! just as rain falls to a random pitter patter, so should the sound of feet! (discounting of course, tap dancers and Stomp!) i feel like a lemming, falk expecting there to be a cliff and we'll one by one fall to our doom still moving our feet and perhaps flailing our hands. (all in unison, of course)
thats all the diary i have now, as we didn't have much free time on some days. okay, so we all know army is fucked up, but i guess i've to say i'm lucky because i got posted to a 'welfare' company, meaning... its fucking slack for me. its the first few days and already we get to use the recruit mess room (i.e. recreation room). Table soccer is mighty fun, tho i am very prone to scoring own goals. =(
what else what else... OH! FOOD! the food is. okay la. some days nice some days it tastes like anus juice. mondays are especially good since its western food day. on saturday, they served my favourite dish- sweet and sour pork! but... alas... we only got one chunk of meat per person. =(
we still have lectures, but its all boring on repetitive, harping on the same following points:
-army is safe
-army is good
-army is essential
-army code of conduct
at least the lecturer is quiteeee funny... here's some quotes
"I make you stand until your testicles complain!!!" - sgt mjr
"... if not i'll fuck you over until you dissolve into egg and sperm!!!" - sgt mjr
and while talking cock with our sergents-
sergent- "Did you know masturbating is a chargable offence?"
one of the recruits- "HUH?!"
one of the garang recruits-
"SERGENT! WHEN CAN DO GUARD DUTY?" - Eze
and last but not least, my platoon sergent-
"Nabeh Cuckoobird!"
p.s: enough to tide you over till next week, rox?? heh.
p.p.s: if you found it long/boring.... too bad.
2004-01-15
tomorrow's the big day. somehow, i feel like i'm sean penn from 'dead man walking'. like. i get lots of well meaning people giving me advice like- 'don't be a hero ok', 'don't make any enemies ok', 'just stay inconspicuous ok', and the best one yet-
ding- 'eh lenn when you enlisting?'
lenn- 'friday'
ding- 'sorry...'
like. chill man. im going to. an extended outward bounds camp. which was always kinda fun? ayyeee
here's me getting everything ready for army. i hope i didnt forget anything. i bought dettol powder thinking it will help stave off fungal infection, but i didnt read that it was 'menthol', so last night when i 'tested' it by apply more-than-liberal amounts to my legs, cock and armpits, well. it was less than pleasant. especially around the cock.
so im thinking. hehe. this would make a lovely prank! i'd sprinkle it all over my room mates bunk so when he crawls in weary and tired... BANG! hes mentholated all over! and the ice has been broken.
what exactly is the difference between prickly heat powder and normal powder?
ding- 'eh lenn when you enlisting?'
lenn- 'friday'
ding- 'sorry...'
like. chill man. im going to. an extended outward bounds camp. which was always kinda fun? ayyeee
here's me getting everything ready for army. i hope i didnt forget anything. i bought dettol powder thinking it will help stave off fungal infection, but i didnt read that it was 'menthol', so last night when i 'tested' it by apply more-than-liberal amounts to my legs, cock and armpits, well. it was less than pleasant. especially around the cock.
so im thinking. hehe. this would make a lovely prank! i'd sprinkle it all over my room mates bunk so when he crawls in weary and tired... BANG! hes mentholated all over! and the ice has been broken.
what exactly is the difference between prickly heat powder and normal powder?
2004-01-14
2004-01-13
*click*
courtesy isaac ng.
today i met up with darryl hojun and galvin and it was very very nice. i've to say, thus far, while jc was (more or less) fun, my best days in an educational institution was in sec 3 and 4 at *all together now* (we'll stand together for the cause, of) ACS i. (forever)
in all actuality its not acs per se, its just i was lucky enough to meet some damn solid friends there. you see. not that i didnt in rj. but. its different. not the school but the age and mindset. and that forges a different kind of friendship. okay. i am getting ahead of myself. maybe i will think about this more and write a stunning article about it. till then, then.
courtesy isaac ng.
today i met up with darryl hojun and galvin and it was very very nice. i've to say, thus far, while jc was (more or less) fun, my best days in an educational institution was in sec 3 and 4 at *all together now* (we'll stand together for the cause, of) ACS i. (forever)
in all actuality its not acs per se, its just i was lucky enough to meet some damn solid friends there. you see. not that i didnt in rj. but. its different. not the school but the age and mindset. and that forges a different kind of friendship. okay. i am getting ahead of myself. maybe i will think about this more and write a stunning article about it. till then, then.
2004-01-12
army is really creeping up on me. hell, its thundering down my ass like a raging bull.
i had to serve it in... oh... sometime in my lifetime, then it progressed to same century/decade, then same year, and now its the same week. soon this collision course of man and *_|_* army will be on the same day. then same hour. then minute. then second. and. *BOOM*
actually. i doubt it'd be so spectacular. more like. a *plimp*, meek and wholely unsatisfactory, such as i have come to expect from our eminently ominous Government.
'in fair singapore, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil service makes civil men begrudge.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers...'
i had to serve it in... oh... sometime in my lifetime, then it progressed to same century/decade, then same year, and now its the same week. soon this collision course of man and *_|_* army will be on the same day. then same hour. then minute. then second. and. *BOOM*
actually. i doubt it'd be so spectacular. more like. a *plimp*, meek and wholely unsatisfactory, such as i have come to expect from our eminently ominous Government.
'in fair singapore, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil service makes civil men begrudge.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers...'
2004-01-10
and so after searching high and low for the 5100 and the 3530 to no avail, i settled for this phone. i got a mighty good trade in deal on my t610- $330! i kinda like my new phone. its all white, and its very no frills.
one thing i must give props to nokia for is their support for ringtones and games. i downloaded Guns and Roses November Rain Guitar Solo for my ringtone, and its so damn nice i loathe answering calls. i'd rather let the person wait so i can hear the lovely slash.
now, when noelle calls, Batman plays. "Gee Willikers Batman! We're Needed!!" *cue campy ringtone*
and when my family calls, its *awwww* sweet home alabama. how quaint. 'awww shuuucckkksss... i'm'a juz'a simpl' ol' home boy...'
heh.
2004-01-09
2004-01-08
check this out everyone, esp you guys. its applicable even if you're contract has ended- you can just renew it.
so go.
and may the force be with you.
so go.
and may the force be with you.
omg im 18 and im clubbed to death. or maybe, its just zouk-ed to death. nevermind. i shall mark 22nd jan on my calender and eagerly await that.
today, i tried a pina colada and it is very very nice. if you close your eyes when you sip it, you can almost imagine white crystal sands peppered with bikini clad babes, you in a deck chair with a hawaiian shirt and a vast expanse of ocean worthy of a monet painting, and a bright red candied sun with a slight breeze that feels like silk being drawn across your body and im starting to ramble so i'll stop here.
today, i tried a pina colada and it is very very nice. if you close your eyes when you sip it, you can almost imagine white crystal sands peppered with bikini clad babes, you in a deck chair with a hawaiian shirt and a vast expanse of ocean worthy of a monet painting, and a bright red candied sun with a slight breeze that feels like silk being drawn across your body and im starting to ramble so i'll stop here.
2004-01-07
2004-01-06
last night was noelle's shoot and i went to keep her company. while she was shooting, i struck up conversations with various people and my i guess its true when they say everyone has a story if you're willing to listen.
this guy andrew from sydney is in singapore now setting up a new magazine. the name slips from my head but its like, a Juice alternative. he was flipping thru a copy of Juice and was going like... look at this! this is shite! advert... advert...advert... this ain't a mag! and so i am eagerly looking forward to the publication of his new mag. i hope it fares well.
and another guy, i forget his name, so i shall call him rigger, was the rigger for the shoot. meaning he does the light and all that shit. he served NS in 85 so that puts him... about 20years my senior? anyway what an interesting story he has. like. he recently came back from LA where he helped with I, Robot, an upcoming movie with will smith, and next week he might be going to thailand to help with Alexander The Great. but he was very humble about the whole thing, and also told me stories abt how he had to go to china to search for a sun bear for a nat geog shoot and bla bla. theres so much to tell!
next time im arnd strangers i'll just fuckcare and strike up a conversation.
"hi there. im lennard." and off the ball rolls!
this guy andrew from sydney is in singapore now setting up a new magazine. the name slips from my head but its like, a Juice alternative. he was flipping thru a copy of Juice and was going like... look at this! this is shite! advert... advert...advert... this ain't a mag! and so i am eagerly looking forward to the publication of his new mag. i hope it fares well.
and another guy, i forget his name, so i shall call him rigger, was the rigger for the shoot. meaning he does the light and all that shit. he served NS in 85 so that puts him... about 20years my senior? anyway what an interesting story he has. like. he recently came back from LA where he helped with I, Robot, an upcoming movie with will smith, and next week he might be going to thailand to help with Alexander The Great. but he was very humble about the whole thing, and also told me stories abt how he had to go to china to search for a sun bear for a nat geog shoot and bla bla. theres so much to tell!
next time im arnd strangers i'll just fuckcare and strike up a conversation.
"hi there. im lennard." and off the ball rolls!
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