lat-long 1.3232 103.8389
thats the latitude and longitude of where i stay! yes, 39 chancery lane, villa chancery! cool innit? go to Maporama. its like, this fucking cool map for the world. kinda spooky too man... what if they included real-time satellite images in the future? very enemy-of-the-state, very state-of-the-art.
2004-03-31
Along Liang Seah Street
Ah-mah Smoking
the most excruciating part of the whole process was not the editing, but the posting of the photos. and only two are up! well enjoy, hope you like it.
ching said i'm an owl, and i kinda like that. i could live being an owl. c00l.
Ah-mah Smoking
the most excruciating part of the whole process was not the editing, but the posting of the photos. and only two are up! well enjoy, hope you like it.
ching said i'm an owl, and i kinda like that. i could live being an owl. c00l.
2004-03-28
i want to curl up into a ball and tuck my head between my knees but still it isn't enough. i feel very weary. again i ask, which comes first? music or melancholy.
i just filmed this short vid which i really like entitled 'blimpy boy'. do you remember the floating plastic bag scene from American Beauty? its something like that but not too similar i hope. if anyone knows of a way to stream/post videos online, please do clue me in.
ever since watching that particular scene (in american beauty), i can't help but notice the beautiful spirals the leaves trace in the air as the wind heaves and dies and the helpless leaves are dragged off kicking and screaming, nails scratching on the pavement in protest.
i just filmed this short vid which i really like entitled 'blimpy boy'. do you remember the floating plastic bag scene from American Beauty? its something like that but not too similar i hope. if anyone knows of a way to stream/post videos online, please do clue me in.
ever since watching that particular scene (in american beauty), i can't help but notice the beautiful spirals the leaves trace in the air as the wind heaves and dies and the helpless leaves are dragged off kicking and screaming, nails scratching on the pavement in protest.
suddenly, i don't feel very much like taking photos. maybe its just i've nothing to say, or too much.
4 days after POP and i'm starting to feel very lennard again, which is comforting to know. i thought i'd died but no i was just... just taking a break.
my helmet, after weeks of usage and no washing, smells very much like vinegar. which reminds me of fish and chips in australia or vinegar kettle chips. yum. how oddly we remember.
i would like to try a bruce-ish kind of entry but i think lets leave the writing to the writers and the blogging to the bloggers and voyeurs to themselves.
4 days after POP and i'm starting to feel very lennard again, which is comforting to know. i thought i'd died but no i was just... just taking a break.
my helmet, after weeks of usage and no washing, smells very much like vinegar. which reminds me of fish and chips in australia or vinegar kettle chips. yum. how oddly we remember.
i would like to try a bruce-ish kind of entry but i think lets leave the writing to the writers and the blogging to the bloggers and voyeurs to themselves.
2004-03-20
notebook.
it doesn't really matter where we're going, does it? after all, its the journey that's the destination, innit? A to B, B to A, its in the to part that things happen. kapish?
It was lush, with wild vegetation growing untamed and cumbling paint flaking off the wall like a bad sun burn, revealing its raw under-skin. There was a sprawling jackfruit tree in the middle of it all, standing like the middle finger of mother nature giving a big 'fuck you' to urbanization. It was also like nature's umbrella. Creeper vines veined the wall like ebola. "I could start a garden here!" she exclaimed. I imagined gothic skeletal chairs and a rusted table would fit right in.
maybe, God doesn't love you.
I am thinking of. A hazy day. Its dry, and chilly, windy. The kind of day when you breathe, your breath comes out like a long drag on a cigarette. autumn maybe. Toxic love. Maybe I will get drunk on love. or its many substitutes. Love is a reason in itself isn't it. What is love to you? I can't find my own answer to that, so help me cheat. Give me your answer.
I'll make it mine
thought for the day- you know. if satan were named anything other than lucifer, say, bob. or stan. it'd be so sad
Eighteen januaries later, discovery instilled within me a yearning for the sea. Without scientific ado one falls short from understanding how the glass is clear and the body is blue- tritely speaking it is a concept romanticised by ignorance.
The human whole however bureaucratic is governed by two organs- the desert of a mind in which all thoughts are meticulously laid out to dry and the ocean of a heart in which all thought subsequently drowns. Therein lies the divine parody in which all men have a part to play.
There is something sorcerous about the snowglobe and how it surrenders your life in short takes- that a jingle would throw its world into disarray; that a disarray should spring into view its world. What magic suspends the glitter and glass is the watchful weightlessness of water.
It is believed that paint on canvas is the universal expression free from translation and open to intepretation; that writing is flawed in language and imprisoned by cultures, subjected to perspectives and warped from fear. For this alone I embrace her.
it doesn't really matter where we're going, does it? after all, its the journey that's the destination, innit? A to B, B to A, its in the to part that things happen. kapish?
It was lush, with wild vegetation growing untamed and cumbling paint flaking off the wall like a bad sun burn, revealing its raw under-skin. There was a sprawling jackfruit tree in the middle of it all, standing like the middle finger of mother nature giving a big 'fuck you' to urbanization. It was also like nature's umbrella. Creeper vines veined the wall like ebola. "I could start a garden here!" she exclaimed. I imagined gothic skeletal chairs and a rusted table would fit right in.
maybe, God doesn't love you.
I am thinking of. A hazy day. Its dry, and chilly, windy. The kind of day when you breathe, your breath comes out like a long drag on a cigarette. autumn maybe. Toxic love. Maybe I will get drunk on love. or its many substitutes. Love is a reason in itself isn't it. What is love to you? I can't find my own answer to that, so help me cheat. Give me your answer.
I'll make it mine
thought for the day- you know. if satan were named anything other than lucifer, say, bob. or stan. it'd be so sad
Eighteen januaries later, discovery instilled within me a yearning for the sea. Without scientific ado one falls short from understanding how the glass is clear and the body is blue- tritely speaking it is a concept romanticised by ignorance.
The human whole however bureaucratic is governed by two organs- the desert of a mind in which all thoughts are meticulously laid out to dry and the ocean of a heart in which all thought subsequently drowns. Therein lies the divine parody in which all men have a part to play.
There is something sorcerous about the snowglobe and how it surrenders your life in short takes- that a jingle would throw its world into disarray; that a disarray should spring into view its world. What magic suspends the glitter and glass is the watchful weightlessness of water.
It is believed that paint on canvas is the universal expression free from translation and open to intepretation; that writing is flawed in language and imprisoned by cultures, subjected to perspectives and warped from fear. For this alone I embrace her.
2004-03-14
ok yoon this's for you.
grenade throwing isn't all that its made out to be. my sergeant described it as an event that will 'wa lan make your balls go to your throat sia!' and the he recounted events of recruits with shaky hands, that scared they were.
but instead, the day passed like any other and the grenade went pop rather than boom. okay. i'll be honest. maybe more of a POP than a pop but my balls stayed where they were nonetheless.
a hasty entry but its time to book in so cya girl.
grenade throwing isn't all that its made out to be. my sergeant described it as an event that will 'wa lan make your balls go to your throat sia!' and the he recounted events of recruits with shaky hands, that scared they were.
but instead, the day passed like any other and the grenade went pop rather than boom. okay. i'll be honest. maybe more of a POP than a pop but my balls stayed where they were nonetheless.
a hasty entry but its time to book in so cya girl.
am i really that bad at good-byes?
i think Ocean's Eleven has one of the most poignant parting scenes without threading into cringing mush. after the heist has been made, there is a silouette shot of the whole team against a fountain and one by one they take their leave and get on with their lives. no good byes, no stay-in-touch-take-care-i'll-miss-you and in short, no lies. as it should be.
i think Ocean's Eleven has one of the most poignant parting scenes without threading into cringing mush. after the heist has been made, there is a silouette shot of the whole team against a fountain and one by one they take their leave and get on with their lives. no good byes, no stay-in-touch-take-care-i'll-miss-you and in short, no lies. as it should be.
2004-03-13
i had one of those 'oh-my-god-what-am-i-doing' moments today. i was sleeping in the rover (i.e. car) waiting for the sergeant to collect the grenades when i woke up and looked at the jungle around me, my helmet in front of me and the driver sleeping in the driver's seat. then i thought to myself 'oh-my-god-what-am-i-doing?'.
noelle called it a reality check.
noelle called it a reality check.
2004-03-06
i just bought the Motherload Of All Disinfectants. not only does this disinfect clothes, floors and freshen the air, it can also be used to remove clothe stains, relieve muscle aches (yes, spray directly onto your skin!) and insect bites. From Lido Basement Supermarket- Eagle Brand Eucalyptus Disinfectant Spray.
get yours today!
get yours today!
2004-03-05
so it was the latter so oh well i will probably be retaking my A's. strangely i'm not sad or depressed or anything. i guess its just what you just call just desserts. on a lighter note, i passed chinese B.
had my 3-day SIT test this week. (read: 3 days in jungle again.) sparing the technical details, and on to the juicy part, i had to take a shit on the 3rd day. this is a BAD thing. because by now, the shit area is a veritable mine field crawling with stink bombs. but i'm getting ahead of myself.
-
JUNGLE TOILET 101
let me explain to the un-initiated. in the jungle, there are no toilets. so, you pee into the trees/grass* and dig a hole and shit into it and cover it up. and all this is done in a designated area.
-
ok now back to my rant. so by the third day, a company of 200 recruits have been using the same 10x10m area to shit/piss. what do i mean by mine field? when i take my shovel to dig a shit hole, alas! i UNCOVER a previous shit hole! wa lan its damn sick and smelly la. then while you're shitting, you must keep swatting your pantat to keep the flies and mosquitos away. and there are other people shitting around you and you can see all kinds of shit. deep brown, light brown, reddish brown, long, short, skinny and fat. the mental image... ugh. if you're some kinda perverted sicko into that kinda kinky shit then you'll be in heaven man.
so my advice for recruits to be- shit early on and then avoid it after that like the plague.
*my section mate was unlucky enough to prone (i.e. lie down) in a grass bed of pee during training.
had my 3-day SIT test this week. (read: 3 days in jungle again.) sparing the technical details, and on to the juicy part, i had to take a shit on the 3rd day. this is a BAD thing. because by now, the shit area is a veritable mine field crawling with stink bombs. but i'm getting ahead of myself.
-
JUNGLE TOILET 101
let me explain to the un-initiated. in the jungle, there are no toilets. so, you pee into the trees/grass* and dig a hole and shit into it and cover it up. and all this is done in a designated area.
-
ok now back to my rant. so by the third day, a company of 200 recruits have been using the same 10x10m area to shit/piss. what do i mean by mine field? when i take my shovel to dig a shit hole, alas! i UNCOVER a previous shit hole! wa lan its damn sick and smelly la. then while you're shitting, you must keep swatting your pantat to keep the flies and mosquitos away. and there are other people shitting around you and you can see all kinds of shit. deep brown, light brown, reddish brown, long, short, skinny and fat. the mental image... ugh. if you're some kinda perverted sicko into that kinda kinky shit then you'll be in heaven man.
so my advice for recruits to be- shit early on and then avoid it after that like the plague.
*my section mate was unlucky enough to prone (i.e. lie down) in a grass bed of pee during training.
2004-02-29
omg i just bought the nicest pair of loafers from lacoste. and its time to book in. i don't know if i should be happy or sad so i'll just put on a straight face and blah whatever.
the thing that sucks the most in army, aside from the lack of freedom, is the lack of personal space. its like. co-habitation with 11 other strangers. married couples can't even work it out well and they expect us unruly boys to pull it all together. my buddy snores like a wild boar... it was almost impossible to sleep during field camp.
i wish i could bring my mac to camp. or at least my mp3 collection. my ears are numb from listening to the bends.
the thing that sucks the most in army, aside from the lack of freedom, is the lack of personal space. its like. co-habitation with 11 other strangers. married couples can't even work it out well and they expect us unruly boys to pull it all together. my buddy snores like a wild boar... it was almost impossible to sleep during field camp.
i wish i could bring my mac to camp. or at least my mp3 collection. my ears are numb from listening to the bends.
2004-02-28
i'd blog about field camp, which was really quite fun. and the joys of shitting into a little dirt hole and the amazing friend with an anus-of-steel who held his shit for 5 days and how the red sun looked like a nipple and the lovely night sky and then finally about everything in between. really i had an outline all in my head.
but my fingers are blistered from digging trenches so i can't.
hope everyones ok.
but my fingers are blistered from digging trenches so i can't.
hope everyones ok.
2004-02-14
through the week, i was going thru a smashing pumpkins revival of sorts as i blew the dust of my cd jackets and brought the cds (cd, to be exact- SP greatest hits. a history condensed) to camp. i don't think i'll ever get tired of the pumpkins. there'll always be 'pumpkin' moments- you know what i mean. when you feel all melancholic and alone and fuck yes you want to wallow in it for all its worth like a fat lazy pig rolling in the mud as you listen to his siren wail drag you deeper and deeper into depression and you secretly love every minute of it.
david says i like to listen to sad music. i don't think thats too true tho there are the few more introspective numbers in my playlist, but i'm sure we all do have that. cusak put it poignantly- what comes first, the music or the melancholy? i think they go hand in hand, but i also think i may have said that last time.
now, i'm on a radiohead revivial, thanks to gangwei and his lovely solo acoustic renditions. smashing pumpkins, radiohead. just bring in belle and sebastia, ash and placebo and maybe a dash of x-japan and and wham bruce i miss you so. i know you read this and i'd like to call and say hi or fuck you or you still owe me money but then again maybe we've drifted too far too long and i'm stuck in an auld lang sye but then again maybe time doesn't equate into our dynamics and it'll be the same and in the end i think i just don't want to find out. but all the same i wish you no surprises, the arms of sleep wrap and the bus stop out of town. (on a beech tree rudely carved) (lets not forget the glory days)
farewell and goodnight, and a Closed Book.
david says i like to listen to sad music. i don't think thats too true tho there are the few more introspective numbers in my playlist, but i'm sure we all do have that. cusak put it poignantly- what comes first, the music or the melancholy? i think they go hand in hand, but i also think i may have said that last time.
now, i'm on a radiohead revivial, thanks to gangwei and his lovely solo acoustic renditions. smashing pumpkins, radiohead. just bring in belle and sebastia, ash and placebo and maybe a dash of x-japan and and wham bruce i miss you so. i know you read this and i'd like to call and say hi or fuck you or you still owe me money but then again maybe we've drifted too far too long and i'm stuck in an auld lang sye but then again maybe time doesn't equate into our dynamics and it'll be the same and in the end i think i just don't want to find out. but all the same i wish you no surprises, the arms of sleep wrap and the bus stop out of town. (on a beech tree rudely carved) (lets not forget the glory days)
farewell and goodnight, and a Closed Book.
09/02/04
and i thought today would pass with little ado as no, i don't feel very 19. how does one feel a number anyway? until my friend cautioned me to enjoy the last of my teen years and suddenly 19 limbo became 19 milestone.
10/02/04
gangwei makes a lot of sense. thus far, i've done nothing in my life to deserve coming into the army save for being born in singapore which i won't call doing much to begin with and all my time in army will be spent achieving things i don't really care to achieve in the first place. officer. sergeant. platoon commander. big fucking deal. back again to what i said about it all being a big joke we're all in and suddenly the song 'i started a joke, that got the whole world crying' comes to mind. what a fucking farce.
its surreal. i feel like alice in wonderland and there's the card soldiers scurrying about and the queen running about shouting 'off with their heads!' and the grinning chesire cat and the chiong swa rabbit running here and there.
dear, dear! how queer every thing is to-day! and yesterday things went on just as usual. i wonder if i've been changed in the night?
tekong is a strange place...
11/02/04
its hard to believe we're singapore's proud and mighty defenders when today have to scale the low wall at the SOC (standard obstacle course, the low wall being a ~2.0m wall we have to climb over), you see people running toward it all bravado and shouting 'yaaaaaaaaaa!!!' then 'biak!' smack into the wall and they recoil backward like out of an acme cartoon when the door is slammed into sylvester's face. and others, only able to get halfway over, leaving their legs kicking and flailing aimlessless, hopelessly, almost as if they were trying to swim the breast stroke in mid air. which is overstating the poetic quality of their haphazard motions.
i thumbed an ant, pressing it into the sidewalk with a squish sound and now i feel really quite guilty.
12/02/04
i miss my camera alot. there are many reasons why i like photography, but one of the simplest explanations i can give is that it is because i have a very bad memory. and i don't want to forget.
13/02/04
its official... i am cockeyed. i cannot shoot for nuts. given a shot-gun and an elephant 10m away, i'd probably miss the elephant and shoot myself in the foot by mistake.
14/02/04
scratch what i said about being a lousy shot. quite the contrary! i'd wager that i could put out your left eye from 100m. haha. and my secret? Trolls. go figure.
its good to be home. next week i wont be back cause its field camp so till then, till then.
and i thought today would pass with little ado as no, i don't feel very 19. how does one feel a number anyway? until my friend cautioned me to enjoy the last of my teen years and suddenly 19 limbo became 19 milestone.
10/02/04
gangwei makes a lot of sense. thus far, i've done nothing in my life to deserve coming into the army save for being born in singapore which i won't call doing much to begin with and all my time in army will be spent achieving things i don't really care to achieve in the first place. officer. sergeant. platoon commander. big fucking deal. back again to what i said about it all being a big joke we're all in and suddenly the song 'i started a joke, that got the whole world crying' comes to mind. what a fucking farce.
its surreal. i feel like alice in wonderland and there's the card soldiers scurrying about and the queen running about shouting 'off with their heads!' and the grinning chesire cat and the chiong swa rabbit running here and there.
dear, dear! how queer every thing is to-day! and yesterday things went on just as usual. i wonder if i've been changed in the night?
tekong is a strange place...
11/02/04
its hard to believe we're singapore's proud and mighty defenders when today have to scale the low wall at the SOC (standard obstacle course, the low wall being a ~2.0m wall we have to climb over), you see people running toward it all bravado and shouting 'yaaaaaaaaaa!!!' then 'biak!' smack into the wall and they recoil backward like out of an acme cartoon when the door is slammed into sylvester's face. and others, only able to get halfway over, leaving their legs kicking and flailing aimlessless, hopelessly, almost as if they were trying to swim the breast stroke in mid air. which is overstating the poetic quality of their haphazard motions.
i thumbed an ant, pressing it into the sidewalk with a squish sound and now i feel really quite guilty.
12/02/04
i miss my camera alot. there are many reasons why i like photography, but one of the simplest explanations i can give is that it is because i have a very bad memory. and i don't want to forget.
13/02/04
its official... i am cockeyed. i cannot shoot for nuts. given a shot-gun and an elephant 10m away, i'd probably miss the elephant and shoot myself in the foot by mistake.
14/02/04
scratch what i said about being a lousy shot. quite the contrary! i'd wager that i could put out your left eye from 100m. haha. and my secret? Trolls. go figure.
its good to be home. next week i wont be back cause its field camp so till then, till then.
2004-02-07
i would write about camp but there really isn't much to say. its the same story. its like. reading a book and going over and over the same page. or those art films ala run lola run and it repeats and repeats.
the saddest thing is when you book out and you are very very happy and elated and 'whoo baby im free!' and your bunk mate walks up to you and says 'hey lennard! cya enjoy your free time!! see you tomorrow!!!' and you stop for a moment and think as your brain turns and churns and you think oh fuck... i'm booking in again tomorrow.
dead man walking? nah. too over the top. more like. dead soul walking.
but i'll try nonetheless. oh joy, oh joy, come and smack me upside on the head and knock my teeth out and make my heart bleed again.
going to town, its like theres a sudden influx of ang moh! why? what happened while i was in camp? not that i mind... ang moh chicks are damn chio with nice knockers. (that really knock against each other, contrasted with fat chested lians)
ah. theres really nothing to say or do but lie down close your eyes and dream. and even in my dreams i sometimes dream im in army and thats a scary thought. i went in thinking lemons and lemonade and now its more shit and chocolate. oh well. so till inspiration hits me or a get a certain joie de vie. till then, till then.
and hello to everyone who i haven't seen or spoken to for sometime. i hope you all are in good health and all that jazz.
omg its been 6 months!
the saddest thing is when you book out and you are very very happy and elated and 'whoo baby im free!' and your bunk mate walks up to you and says 'hey lennard! cya enjoy your free time!! see you tomorrow!!!' and you stop for a moment and think as your brain turns and churns and you think oh fuck... i'm booking in again tomorrow.
dead man walking? nah. too over the top. more like. dead soul walking.
but i'll try nonetheless. oh joy, oh joy, come and smack me upside on the head and knock my teeth out and make my heart bleed again.
going to town, its like theres a sudden influx of ang moh! why? what happened while i was in camp? not that i mind... ang moh chicks are damn chio with nice knockers. (that really knock against each other, contrasted with fat chested lians)
ah. theres really nothing to say or do but lie down close your eyes and dream. and even in my dreams i sometimes dream im in army and thats a scary thought. i went in thinking lemons and lemonade and now its more shit and chocolate. oh well. so till inspiration hits me or a get a certain joie de vie. till then, till then.
and hello to everyone who i haven't seen or spoken to for sometime. i hope you all are in good health and all that jazz.
omg its been 6 months!
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