Marvel at the wonders of photoshop.
Case 1:
I present you with-
my 3 classmates who i affectionately refer to as the 3 Angels
Tweak a bit heree.... tweak a bit there....
TADA~!
Woah MOMMA!
now if only it worked in real life.
2003-10-10
2003-10-09
oh yea... SCHOOL HAS OFFICIALLY ENDED TODAY!
can you imagine the ecstatic joyful orgasmic elation i am in? will i miss Rj? parts here and there, yeah. but on the whole? hooo baby fuckkkkkkkk offfffffffffffff~! its a great school and all if anyone wanted to ask if i'd recommend it hell yeah but thats if you wanna do JC. i hateee JC. you know what? unless you dont know what your gonna do with your life, go to POLY.
SCHOOLS OUT SCHOOLS OUT SCHOOLS OUT! you know what is one BIG joy? after this, no more UNIFORMS! of course in army... i'd have to wear the damn green uniform (lucky for me mutued greens look good on me), but after that no more uniforms. heh yay yay yay
to the j1's Good Fuckin' Luck for the prelims. pls dont get retained, even if you do love the school.
can you imagine the ecstatic joyful orgasmic elation i am in? will i miss Rj? parts here and there, yeah. but on the whole? hooo baby fuckkkkkkkk offfffffffffffff~! its a great school and all if anyone wanted to ask if i'd recommend it hell yeah but thats if you wanna do JC. i hateee JC. you know what? unless you dont know what your gonna do with your life, go to POLY.
SCHOOLS OUT SCHOOLS OUT SCHOOLS OUT! you know what is one BIG joy? after this, no more UNIFORMS! of course in army... i'd have to wear the damn green uniform (lucky for me mutued greens look good on me), but after that no more uniforms. heh yay yay yay
to the j1's Good Fuckin' Luck for the prelims. pls dont get retained, even if you do love the school.
2003-10-08
gah!
school class photos are back and i look like a total goof! its so sad!!! my face is in some... oddly contorted posture like. i look bewildered! and my hair is shaved. boo hoo. 10 20 years down when my classmates look at it they'll go whos this bugger and they'll remember ohhhh its lennard the clown! lennard the fool! can you see how important your photo is? if i had looked suave and debonair, they'd go... ohhh lennard the ladykiller! lennard the buaya! and if i had worn specs, they'd go ohhh lennard the under-achieving genius or something like that. but as it stands, i will be remembered as lennard the doofus. damnit.
somethings you dont realize till you're doing it and you stop and think and smile to yourself like- heyyy this is kindaa cool. theme of the times? irony. it struck me as suck on various occaions when i
1) drank beer out of a coffee mug
2) smoked while eating an apple
3) listened to some heavy metal version of classical songs
i so wish i could write more theres so much to tell so much so much but alas spring time's slipping away my friend yeah spring times slipping away* so i must take my leave and retreat to my hovel to study study study. looking at my study plan, theres hope yet! i can do this...
*Ash
ok ok last para...
i am very sad at the state of my room... a large desk has been moved into it to facilitate studying and it sticks out like a damn pimple. its such an eyesore! and now my curtains are perpetually drawn so when i study i lose sense of time and suddenly i emerge from my room blurry eyed (but much the wiser) and lo and behold! the sun has set! it is very disconcerting but ah well. no complaints. my parents are taking it pretty well and giving me lots of support which i appreciate loads.
okok. mr sloman beckons. until the A's are over, i am his bitch.
school class photos are back and i look like a total goof! its so sad!!! my face is in some... oddly contorted posture like. i look bewildered! and my hair is shaved. boo hoo. 10 20 years down when my classmates look at it they'll go whos this bugger and they'll remember ohhhh its lennard the clown! lennard the fool! can you see how important your photo is? if i had looked suave and debonair, they'd go... ohhh lennard the ladykiller! lennard the buaya! and if i had worn specs, they'd go ohhh lennard the under-achieving genius or something like that. but as it stands, i will be remembered as lennard the doofus. damnit.
somethings you dont realize till you're doing it and you stop and think and smile to yourself like- heyyy this is kindaa cool. theme of the times? irony. it struck me as suck on various occaions when i
1) drank beer out of a coffee mug
2) smoked while eating an apple
3) listened to some heavy metal version of classical songs
i so wish i could write more theres so much to tell so much so much but alas spring time's slipping away my friend yeah spring times slipping away* so i must take my leave and retreat to my hovel to study study study. looking at my study plan, theres hope yet! i can do this...
*Ash
ok ok last para...
i am very sad at the state of my room... a large desk has been moved into it to facilitate studying and it sticks out like a damn pimple. its such an eyesore! and now my curtains are perpetually drawn so when i study i lose sense of time and suddenly i emerge from my room blurry eyed (but much the wiser) and lo and behold! the sun has set! it is very disconcerting but ah well. no complaints. my parents are taking it pretty well and giving me lots of support which i appreciate loads.
okok. mr sloman beckons. until the A's are over, i am his bitch.
2003-10-06
oh and apologies for well. the lack of funny posts. i have not been feeling particularly funny of late. and its impossible to TRY to be funny, you know what i mean? such pressure is contrary to the free-spirit of humour. its like. trying to get an erection by looking at your limp penis telling it to 'please stand up, please stand up' (i hope this doesnt work for any of you. it would be very sad if it did). the penis would not listen because it would suffer from performance anxiety. (ladies, take note.)
i guess it has been quite dreary of late but that is how i've been feeling. yes dont worry my blog will not spiral into a 'i hate the world why is it so bad to me' because i know things will get better but there will always be ups and downs and thank you all who beared with me.
i am very sad today. well grades aside, it is also the realization that i ahve to do again what i did for my O levels... unplug my computer, because i cannot get anything done without it. i am moving a bigger study table into my room. as you can see, i mean business. i feel like rambo as he gears up strapping grenades and bazookas to his person eating bullets (for iron) to a patriotic drum beat. better yet, i feel like batman! donning my cape and hood!
quote of the day- "you know, i used to think guys shit out of their penis" roll your eyes ladies and gentleman, its from none other than the lovely yoonlin.
banter of the day-
da`lena * (11:46 PM) : aiya. nevermind la i think i shall go sleep
see you some other day when the moon sails across the sky in your dreams, wrapping you up in little fluffy clouds cosily into a little ball of slumber. bleh.
harlequin (11:47 PM) :
yucks. i'd rather just see you in school.
harlequin (11:47 PM) :
nite
from now on updates will be done on my brothers/school computer.
oh, and dont miss me too much. *grin*
i guess it has been quite dreary of late but that is how i've been feeling. yes dont worry my blog will not spiral into a 'i hate the world why is it so bad to me' because i know things will get better but there will always be ups and downs and thank you all who beared with me.
i am very sad today. well grades aside, it is also the realization that i ahve to do again what i did for my O levels... unplug my computer, because i cannot get anything done without it. i am moving a bigger study table into my room. as you can see, i mean business. i feel like rambo as he gears up strapping grenades and bazookas to his person eating bullets (for iron) to a patriotic drum beat. better yet, i feel like batman! donning my cape and hood!
quote of the day- "you know, i used to think guys shit out of their penis" roll your eyes ladies and gentleman, its from none other than the lovely yoonlin.
banter of the day-
da`lena * (11:46 PM) : aiya. nevermind la i think i shall go sleep
see you some other day when the moon sails across the sky in your dreams, wrapping you up in little fluffy clouds cosily into a little ball of slumber. bleh.
harlequin (11:47 PM) :
yucks. i'd rather just see you in school.
harlequin (11:47 PM) :
nite
from now on updates will be done on my brothers/school computer.
oh, and dont miss me too much. *grin*
so i entered Jc with budding expectations, face cherubic and innocence intact. 4 A's, 2 S papers, well, that went without saying.
then something fucked up. and it was hm. maybe ok... 4A's and 1 S i can do this. then it went to 3A's. but its ok. i will still try for 1S. now, a year down with a grade of E E O, i must say tsk tsk lennard shame on you.
5 weeks for 2 years of syllabus. can i do it? i have no fuckin' clue, but i will think i can if not why bother then? it sounds silly and self righteous i know but it will be my Fuck You to the system if i do well. it will be a farce to the whole education system. and then i turn my back on this crummy shithole and be on with my life.
if not. i will be serverly humbled and its on to poly after army to get a diploma then to uni for archi.
but the dream is still alive.
then something fucked up. and it was hm. maybe ok... 4A's and 1 S i can do this. then it went to 3A's. but its ok. i will still try for 1S. now, a year down with a grade of E E O, i must say tsk tsk lennard shame on you.
5 weeks for 2 years of syllabus. can i do it? i have no fuckin' clue, but i will think i can if not why bother then? it sounds silly and self righteous i know but it will be my Fuck You to the system if i do well. it will be a farce to the whole education system. and then i turn my back on this crummy shithole and be on with my life.
if not. i will be serverly humbled and its on to poly after army to get a diploma then to uni for archi.
but the dream is still alive.
2003-10-05
This guy looks like me! this is surreal.
why aren't i on big advertisments too then?
why dont i have a pretty girl like that locked on my lips?
why aren't i getting paid obscene amounts of cash for my photo HUH?!
speaking of surreal. i am drinking beer out of a coffee mug now. that is also very surreal.
why aren't i on big advertisments too then?
why dont i have a pretty girl like that locked on my lips?
why aren't i getting paid obscene amounts of cash for my photo HUH?!
speaking of surreal. i am drinking beer out of a coffee mug now. that is also very surreal.
so many blogs have fallen into a state of disrepair, what with broken links, missing images and worst yet, neglected updates. boo hoo. i am very lonely and bored. all i have is my magazine, 2 library books, several cds and a very erratic computer for company now. my fathers car is parked in the garage right up next to my window (yes, the sensors!) the tail lights like a pair of menacing eyes peering into my room. and suddenly i feel very naked and vulnerable. stories of the Orang Minyak (oil people) which my uncle used to scare me with as a kid come to mind now, and i am just going to close my curtains. out of sight out of mind.
+++
suffer my desire for you
+++
suffer my desire for you
my dear father drives a harrier, so it is, well, cumbersome to say the least. on several occasions, he had unknowingly reversed into an assortment of objects. frustrated, he went to install those sensor thingamajigs that beep when you are close to something. he is very happy with it. the other night, he reversed his car into the garage and it went 'tweet tweeet tweet tweettweettweettweettwee' and i was like 'dad watch out you are going to hit mom's car (angry mom= not nice mom). he had a quiet air of confidence about him. after killing the engine, he gingerly stepped out of the car and went to take a look.
he proclaimed with immense self satisfaction- "look! so close! almost touching, but not yet!!" tada. my father for you.
i went suit shopping today. and it has come to my attention that i have an odd body. of all the suits i tried, none fit me well. my limbs were too long, my back too big or shoulders too narrow, or waist too loose. which leads to the obvious conclusion taht i have long arms, a bulging back, small shoulders and a narrow waist, all in that order. if you imagine, i'd say its a description that would fit quasimodo also. damnit.
at the supermarket, i hooked up with a few friends. namely, Samuel Adams and Mr. Foster and Mr. Miller. have you noticed that Bitter Gourd looks absolutely disgusting? its like a cucumber with a bad case of acne/pimples.
he proclaimed with immense self satisfaction- "look! so close! almost touching, but not yet!!" tada. my father for you.
i went suit shopping today. and it has come to my attention that i have an odd body. of all the suits i tried, none fit me well. my limbs were too long, my back too big or shoulders too narrow, or waist too loose. which leads to the obvious conclusion taht i have long arms, a bulging back, small shoulders and a narrow waist, all in that order. if you imagine, i'd say its a description that would fit quasimodo also. damnit.
at the supermarket, i hooked up with a few friends. namely, Samuel Adams and Mr. Foster and Mr. Miller. have you noticed that Bitter Gourd looks absolutely disgusting? its like a cucumber with a bad case of acne/pimples.
2003-10-04
+++
and let me be, let me die inside
let me know the way from of this world of
the numb in you
cause the dye is cast, and the bitch is back
and i'm all dead yeah i'm all dead
inside the future of a shattered past
i lie just to be real, and i'd die just to feel
why do the same old things keep on happening?
because beyond my hopes there are no feelings
s.p.
and let me be, let me die inside
let me know the way from of this world of
the numb in you
cause the dye is cast, and the bitch is back
and i'm all dead yeah i'm all dead
inside the future of a shattered past
i lie just to be real, and i'd die just to feel
why do the same old things keep on happening?
because beyond my hopes there are no feelings
s.p.
let me introduce you to my dear treasured friends-
Jack Daniels, Johnnie Walker and Jim Bean
since they aren't on friendster, i will give them a glowing testimonial here-
They are always there when you need them and never turn a cold shoulder. these are the definition of buddies. granted, on occasion, they may be a bit. protective and their company gets a bit too much for you. but on the whole, these are friends for life. get to know them, they will be your friend too.
Jack Daniels, Johnnie Walker and Jim Bean
since they aren't on friendster, i will give them a glowing testimonial here-
They are always there when you need them and never turn a cold shoulder. these are the definition of buddies. granted, on occasion, they may be a bit. protective and their company gets a bit too much for you. but on the whole, these are friends for life. get to know them, they will be your friend too.
last night was really quite fun. hm. Here Hear! to dalglish! (did you know its here hear? at least i think it is. i read it once in print it was here hear. it makes sense dunnit?)
i cannot remember if i bathed last night. i am a very dirty boy by nature, sometmies forgetting to bathe, my longest being for 4 days. and no i didnt forget for 4 days, i just kept finding excuses to procrastinate.
i have moments where i just stand there and TRY to think if i've have bathed. i'd sniff my underarms and its a tad funky, but its not all that bad. i'd go check so see if the towel is damp and it is slighttyyy damp. so i stand there feeling very lost. i do not wish to bathe again if i had, but what if i hadn't?! so there lies my dilemma. so now every morning when i wake up i put wax in my hair and so if i want to know if i've bathed i feel for the wax in my hair. but sometimes after a while, it could just be oily build up. hah. yes. i know. im filthy aren't i. (thank god for colognes.)
Speaking for the non-permenance of memory, i cannot really remember last night. i am having a bit of a hangover now with a dry throat. this is good. its been somee time since its been like this, and this is how it should always be.
what is your poison? (let me spell out mine. w-h-i-s-k-e-y)
bala you indian muthafucker are you reading this? hello! how odd bumping into you again. i forgot to crack a joke at your expense last night. so i will do it now- it was so dark you looked like floating eyes and a chesire grin. but its somewhat a compliment. you have a nice jovial smile.
i cannot remember if i bathed last night. i am a very dirty boy by nature, sometmies forgetting to bathe, my longest being for 4 days. and no i didnt forget for 4 days, i just kept finding excuses to procrastinate.
i have moments where i just stand there and TRY to think if i've have bathed. i'd sniff my underarms and its a tad funky, but its not all that bad. i'd go check so see if the towel is damp and it is slighttyyy damp. so i stand there feeling very lost. i do not wish to bathe again if i had, but what if i hadn't?! so there lies my dilemma. so now every morning when i wake up i put wax in my hair and so if i want to know if i've bathed i feel for the wax in my hair. but sometimes after a while, it could just be oily build up. hah. yes. i know. im filthy aren't i. (thank god for colognes.)
Speaking for the non-permenance of memory, i cannot really remember last night. i am having a bit of a hangover now with a dry throat. this is good. its been somee time since its been like this, and this is how it should always be.
what is your poison? (let me spell out mine. w-h-i-s-k-e-y)
bala you indian muthafucker are you reading this? hello! how odd bumping into you again. i forgot to crack a joke at your expense last night. so i will do it now- it was so dark you looked like floating eyes and a chesire grin. but its somewhat a compliment. you have a nice jovial smile.
2003-10-03
+ + +
throw your hands up in the air
move your body like you got no care
perfectly stlyed gel-waxed hair,
you're so pretty no one compares.
throw me a glance girl,
crown me with your gaze
make my world swirl
together
we can get wander in a hazy,
dazy,
maze.
take my hold come on lets go.
but i walk limply
with an unclasped hand
this lonely singing
one man band.
throw your hands up in the air
move your body like you got no care
perfectly stlyed gel-waxed hair,
you're so pretty no one compares.
throw me a glance girl,
crown me with your gaze
make my world swirl
together
we can get wander in a hazy,
dazy,
maze.
take my hold come on lets go.
but i walk limply
with an unclasped hand
this lonely singing
one man band.
2003-10-02
you can ignore this post. it will be aimless ramblings. more so than usual.
its muddy murphy's tonight, unless yoon, you decide to take me up on my offer of some weight-loss fun eh? hah. I sincerely hope Roadstar is playing again tonight. i have been starved of beauty and i want to see the lead singer again.
speaking of which. let me elaborate on my rockstar dream. dontcha love it? i would be... david bowie circa his ziggy stardust era. in touch with my audience, but always a step out of their reach. i would be a rock god. has anyone seen the movie Rockstar? thats livin the dream baby. or maybe Almost Famous. the scene with the lead guitarist Russel getting tripped out on lsd and jumping off the roof into a pool to the goading cheers of an adoring public. it was religious, having him up there, hands spread out a la christ on the crucifix an offering to the people. i fuckin want that. i fuckin want the people to want me. insecure you say? maybe. but fuck you do you have the guts to admit it if you did? fuck that sissy ass nelly and 'fidy cent' and puddle of staind nonsense. i will be rock and roll pure. like a bacardi 1511. i will be a shot to the head. it will be simple and pure, because that is all i will need. too bad i cant sing for nuts eh? lour reed and smashing pumpkins are blasting on my speakers. it is. surreal. to have them both playing at the same time. ('and romeo had his juliet. and juliet had her romeo'/'do you whatcha gonna do. see whatcha gonna see')
thrashing hotel rooms. fuck having a wife. or maybe i will ahve a wife who is constantly pregnant. i will smoke to my hearts content. fuck it if my voice cracks and goes all warbly. it will have a tom-waits-ish appeal. ohohoh! the tight leather pants! yeahhh. lets not forget the drugs. sex goes without saying of course, its bloody hell understood.
its muddy murphy's tonight, unless yoon, you decide to take me up on my offer of some weight-loss fun eh? hah. I sincerely hope Roadstar is playing again tonight. i have been starved of beauty and i want to see the lead singer again.
speaking of which. let me elaborate on my rockstar dream. dontcha love it? i would be... david bowie circa his ziggy stardust era. in touch with my audience, but always a step out of their reach. i would be a rock god. has anyone seen the movie Rockstar? thats livin the dream baby. or maybe Almost Famous. the scene with the lead guitarist Russel getting tripped out on lsd and jumping off the roof into a pool to the goading cheers of an adoring public. it was religious, having him up there, hands spread out a la christ on the crucifix an offering to the people. i fuckin want that. i fuckin want the people to want me. insecure you say? maybe. but fuck you do you have the guts to admit it if you did? fuck that sissy ass nelly and 'fidy cent' and puddle of staind nonsense. i will be rock and roll pure. like a bacardi 1511. i will be a shot to the head. it will be simple and pure, because that is all i will need. too bad i cant sing for nuts eh? lour reed and smashing pumpkins are blasting on my speakers. it is. surreal. to have them both playing at the same time. ('and romeo had his juliet. and juliet had her romeo'/'do you whatcha gonna do. see whatcha gonna see')
thrashing hotel rooms. fuck having a wife. or maybe i will ahve a wife who is constantly pregnant. i will smoke to my hearts content. fuck it if my voice cracks and goes all warbly. it will have a tom-waits-ish appeal. ohohoh! the tight leather pants! yeahhh. lets not forget the drugs. sex goes without saying of course, its bloody hell understood.
interesting anecdote
last night at phuture, i was talking to this tranny, when it struck me. i felt quite awkward because... i didn't know how to refer to the person! i remembered a joke my pe teacher cracked about a 'she' and a 'him' being a 'shim', but no that didn't seem very apt. so i threw caution to the wind and asked
"hey, how the hell do i refer to you? he or she or what??"
to which the tranny replied-
"honey, what do YOU think?" as he/she/shim flaunted his/her/shers chesty assets.
"ooooh. ha ha. i geddit. ok. sorry ma'am!"
last night at phuture, i was talking to this tranny, when it struck me. i felt quite awkward because... i didn't know how to refer to the person! i remembered a joke my pe teacher cracked about a 'she' and a 'him' being a 'shim', but no that didn't seem very apt. so i threw caution to the wind and asked
"hey, how the hell do i refer to you? he or she or what??"
to which the tranny replied-
"honey, what do YOU think?" as he/she/shim flaunted his/her/shers chesty assets.
"ooooh. ha ha. i geddit. ok. sorry ma'am!"
at phuture they played dilemma. at that moment i jsut wanted the floor to open up and swallow me. i left thereafter, my absence un-noticed with no little difference to the merryment on the dance floor. its times like these when despite (or maybe because) of the large throngs of people, you feel so alone.
2003-10-01
Thank You
Your account has been deleted.
i have killed my Kings Of Chaos account. gosh. i have been ending alot of things recently. its this. destructive phase i guess. time for new beginnings. the end is the beginning of the end*. Soon the A's will be over, and its a new life ahead, so lets leave this old husk behind.
interesting fact- hermit crabs eat their shedded husks for the calcium it provides.
i wonder what i can take of mine.
*Is it bright where you are
Have the people changed
Does it make you happy you’re so strange
And in your darkest hour, I hold secrets flame
You can watch the world devoured in it’s pain
thank you smashing pumpkins. nobody says it better than billy corgan.
when you are sad, listen to ava adore. you will cry. when you are happy, listen to siamese dreams, you will cry. when you want to forget, listen to melon collie, you will forget everything. you will tear out memory after memory. until you are nothing but an empty vessel to be filled again, and the process will repeat.
p.s do not be mistaken. i do not cry. its not a macho thing or what naught, i just hardly ever cry. and no i did not cry.
Your account has been deleted.
i have killed my Kings Of Chaos account. gosh. i have been ending alot of things recently. its this. destructive phase i guess. time for new beginnings. the end is the beginning of the end*. Soon the A's will be over, and its a new life ahead, so lets leave this old husk behind.
interesting fact- hermit crabs eat their shedded husks for the calcium it provides.
i wonder what i can take of mine.
*Is it bright where you are
Have the people changed
Does it make you happy you’re so strange
And in your darkest hour, I hold secrets flame
You can watch the world devoured in it’s pain
thank you smashing pumpkins. nobody says it better than billy corgan.
when you are sad, listen to ava adore. you will cry. when you are happy, listen to siamese dreams, you will cry. when you want to forget, listen to melon collie, you will forget everything. you will tear out memory after memory. until you are nothing but an empty vessel to be filled again, and the process will repeat.
p.s do not be mistaken. i do not cry. its not a macho thing or what naught, i just hardly ever cry. and no i did not cry.
The name of Lennard creates a quick, analytical, and clever mind; you are creative, versatile, original, and independent. You have large ambitions, and it is difficult for you to be tolerant and understanding of those who desire less in life or who are more slow and methodical by nature. Patience is not your forte. You do, however, have leadership ability and would never be happy in a subservient position. You are ambitious and aggressive by nature. You would be happiest in positions where you are free to express individually and creatively and where opportunities are not restricted; you desire freedom, and do not tolerate being possessed by others. You appreciate change and travel, and the opportunity to meet and mix with others, and to influence them with your creative ideas. You are very self-confident and feel you can accomplish anything you set out to do, and you can, although, this name does not allow proper completion of undertakings, and forced changes cause financial losses and bitter experiences. This name also creates caustic expression and moods which prevent harmony and happiness in close association.
get your free name analysis here
damnit! so all these years i thought something was wrong with me when it can all be changed with the simple change of a name?! damn you mother!
get your free name analysis here
damnit! so all these years i thought something was wrong with me when it can all be changed with the simple change of a name?! damn you mother!
do you know what i live for? i live for beautiful things. i LOOOOVVVVEEE beautiful things. Give me something beautiful and i'll love it to bits. women, clothes, food. anything. just make it beautiful.
Just yesterday, while walking home, i saw...
a vision of beauty.
right at the entrance of my place. It was sensuous and commanding all at the same time- a red soft-top honda s2000. For the silly billys out there, well, remember suki's hot pink car in 2 fast 2 furious? Yeap. s2000 baby.
I stopped right in my tracks and could just stare with my jaws agagpe. truely, i was blessed at that moment. right there and then i could have bloody just orgasmed.
Just yesterday, while walking home, i saw...
a vision of beauty.
right at the entrance of my place. It was sensuous and commanding all at the same time- a red soft-top honda s2000. For the silly billys out there, well, remember suki's hot pink car in 2 fast 2 furious? Yeap. s2000 baby.
I stopped right in my tracks and could just stare with my jaws agagpe. truely, i was blessed at that moment. right there and then i could have bloody just orgasmed.
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